What Does it Mean to Forgive?
89Introduction
I am sure many have asked the question, "What does it mean to forgive?" To forgive, in truth, is to let someone off the hook for doing something that hurt you in some way or another. It also means to forget it ever happened. I can see us forgetting it, can;t you? We, as humans, do not have the ability to forget those who hurt us. I know we forget some things, but hurts we tend to hang onto for most, if not all, of our lives.
So we are back to the big question, "What does it mean to forgive?" A couple more questions also come to mind. Is it even possible for people to forgive? Does it mean we have to forget what happened to forgive?
This hub will be written froma Biblical viewpoint because that's what I know. Comments are always welcome from any and all people as long as they are civil with no profanities.
Gen 50:17 So shall ye say unto Joseph, Forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren, and their sin; for they did unto thee evil: and now, we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father. And Joseph wept when they spake unto him.
God Forgives
First we will look and see how and why God actually forgives. God forgives because it is His nature to forgive. Men are like children to Him and he knows we fall short. In fact the very first man God created fell short after being tempted of Satan. God made coats of skins for Adam and Eve after the first sin by man.
When God forgives, he forgets. The sin is cast away from Him into the sea of forgetfulness. A Casting Crowns song speaks of the forgiveness of God in poetic form. The song asks the question of Jesus, "Jesus can you show me just how far the East is from the West." It goes on to answer the questions also, "From one nail scarred hand to the other."
We know that East and West cannot actually meet. The Word of God says sin is cast away as far as the east is from the west. What does that mean for us who are men and not God?
East to West by Casting Crowns
What Forgiveness is Not!
Let's examine some of the things that forgiveness is not. Forgiveness doesn't mean the one that hurt you didn't hurt you. It doesn't mean the person is not guilty. There has to be someone who is guilty in order for forgiveness to come into effect.
Holding grudges is not forgiveness. I know this is simply put and everyone knows it, but it must be written in my opinion. I know people who have held grudges for years and years and some who hold grudges still today against someone who's been dead for years. I honestly don't see the point in holding grudges, especially against someone who is dead. The grudge only hurts the one holding it even more.
Forgiveness isn't just simply saying, "I forgive you." Many don't mind saying it and not meaning what they say. It doesn't bother them to lie about it.
Forgiveness isn't making someone do things for you to earn forgiveness. I could hurt my brother and mow his grass all summer for free using my own mower, and he still might not forgive me.
What is Forgiveness?
Luk 23:33 And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left.
Luk 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
This is the perfect example of ultimate forgiveness. Even as the soldiers parted his clothes, He forgave them of all they had done to Him. This is also at the time when He hung from the cross with nails driven through His hands and feet. A crown of thorns pushed down onto His head and blood running everywhere around Him.
The definition of forgive, according to Merriam Webster's dictionary is;
transitive verb1 a: to give up resentment of or claim to requital for <forgive an insult> b: to grant relief from payment of <forgive a debt>2: to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon forgive one's enemies>intransitive verb: to grant forgiveness.
Two thieves were with Him that day. One on the right and one on the left. One stated to Christ, "If you are Christ, save yourself and us also." What he wanted was to be saved from the punishment that was due him for the crimes he had committed. The other thief knew Jesus was Christ. He knew forgiveness was there for him and any who would partake of it. He even reprimanded the thief who berated Jesus.
Ultimately forgiveness is given freely with no expectations in return. It requires no work on the part of the one being forgiven. The hurt must be forgotten and put behind, for true forgiveness to to be. When Jesus died on the cross at Calvary, forgiveness for all men was given. There isn't a man alive or who has ever died that God has not forgiven. The Bible says that God loved the world. That means every man, woman, and child. He gave His only begotten Son. Jesus did not come to the world to condemn the world, but that through Him, the world might be saved.
The world is already condemned. Forgiveness doesn't save you from sin, because it requires nothing from the one being forgiven. Salvation comes through belief in Jesus Christ as being the Son of the Living God.
Thief by Third Day
How Do We Forgive?
Getting back to the reason for this hub, I will list a few things that show the process of forgiving.
1. The main step to forgiving is to have a desire to forgive someone. If there is no desire to forgive, chances are forgiveness will not come and unforgiveness will remain in the heart of the one who refuses to forgive. Holding onto unforgiveness has dire consequences. Bitterness will set in and doors will open allowing demonic spirits to enter into the heart.
2. Once there is a desire to forgive, forgiveness must be spoken. It doesn't necessarily have to be spoken to the one whom you are forgiving, but if the person is there to hear it said, it would be better.
3. Once it has been spoken from a willing heart, it must be forgotten. As I wrote earlier, we cannot forget like God can. To forget it, we must stop thinking on it and especially not dwell upon it. Satan will bring it back to us at times and we must tell him to take it up with Jesus because forgiveness has already been loosed. The Bible states that whatever we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
It is urgent that we forgive all who have ever hurt us. Let's leave the past in the past and forget about it because nothing we can do will change what happened back then.
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Thank you ASU for the wonderful comment. I am certainly glad you enjoyed reading this .
I agree that we all need to practice and perfect the art of forgiveness. For many of us, however, pride is great and forgiveness is still hard to accomplish.
I know I work at it every day, especiailly for myself!
Cheers!
Chef Jeff
You are so right Jeff, but sometimes all it takes is a first step. The rest usually follows soon after. Thanks for the read and comment.
Very beautiful and nice hub. Sometimes in a situation people do not realize that there is hurt on both sides, which causes misunderstandings. Often forgiveness is about agreeing to disagree and realizing different people have different outlooks and worldviews, which results in a misunderstanding. However, it does not necessary mean one person is right or the other is wrong, it just means they are having a disagreement that is keeping them from finding common ground. Forgiveness means letting go of the hurt feelings and moving on. I know myself often I am hurt by people's comments or when I see something unfair take place, but over time I am able to move on and forgive a person when I realize maybe my interpretation of hurtful is not theirs. It does not mean I am wrong or they are wrong, but I am just able to get past it and move on.
You are right Sweetie. many tim,es we may hurt a firend and not even realize we did soemthing to hurt them. This is when foprgiving is only for ther one hurt. Thank you for the read and comment. I appreciate it very much.
Great topic, many people have a misconception of what foregiveness is. You did a wonderful job of putting it in perspective.
Thank you so much Shades for the read and comment. I can do nothing of myself except mess things up. The Holy Ghost leads and guides me in all things that are right.
East to West...great song. Up there with Praise you in the storm. Thanks for the thoughts, Dent.
Thanks for the read and comment T.Keeley. I appreciate it very much. I agree that the song os a great song. I also love the other songs featured on this hub.
Really great hub SirDent. One of the things forgiveness does is tp release the pain caused by someone who hurt you. Some believe that by holding on to the grudge will actually prevent them from being hurt again, but this is not so. I know of instances where people who have forgiven the person who hurt them actually became good friends again.
Forgiving actually brings peace of mind for you.
I agree Lisa. Thanks so much for the read and comment. It is a great comment and addition to this hub.
Sir Dent I agree with you on the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It guides me too.
Sometimes, as it was in my case, it is hard to forgive the personwho raped you. One because they aren't there anymore and the other because they don't know they did wrong--psychological makeup of a rapist.
It was years before I could forgive him totally. I cannot forget it becasue it was the one thing that set me apart and to know Christ the way that I do. I would have not learned of that had that not happened to me. It is alllearning and lessons and karma. In my hub, How My Rape Brought Me Into The Light, I explain what that yellow haze was for--forgiveness and healing of a past karmic debt. Funny how I could not understand this until you brought me to hubpages. Everything has a reason--good and bad. Forgiveness allows you to move on and it allows you to forgive yourself too.
I haven't been ignoring you, just learning a way around my stubbornness.
Thanks for the read and comment LG. I read the hub about the rape. When I finished I wasn;t sure what to say. To forget it, just don't think about it. Like you I also have had to work hard at forgiving someone. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to forgive, but in the ned it is much better for you.
very nice Sir Dent!! Forgiveness truly is a lighter load! It may shock the one who hurt us, but even more, it lightens our step!! thank you for a wonderful reminder of how to live healthier and more free! =))
yes it might best to leave some things in the past,,,,but its also good to remember so that person who hurt you in the past cant do it again,,,maybe they dont deserve your forgiveness.
Thanks for the read and comment Marisue. Even if the one who hurt us isn't told they are forgiven, it keep bitterness from setting in our own hearts.
Silly, the grudge you hold hurts no one except yourself. It will work like a cancerous tumor and will consume you if you do not forgive. Thanks for the read and comment.
SirDent, I, too, felt that when I read Silly's comment. Anger and rentment do horrible things to ones body--like heart disease, stroke and putting on weight to name ust a few. While you hold that grudge and your body reacts to it, it does nothing to the other person. They may not even know that they have hurt you.
not trying to sound rude,,,but didnt say i hold a grudge ,just not so forgiving as some are,, and if someone has hurt you really bad have a hard time thinking that they dont know they hurt you,,,,they should be the one asking forgiveness,
It is my understanding that not forgiving is holding a grudge. Forgiveness don't work that way either.
I agree LG. I also will go on to say that anyone who olds unforgiveness allows demons to enter in. Unforgiveness leaves a door open that cannot be shut until forgiveness is allowed to flow.
sorry i dont feel it lets satan in,,,,and i feel grudges and forgiving are two different things,,,,, if i didnt hurt the person why should i be the one forgiving,,,, its like saying to them i forgive so its ok you hurt me if they dont ask forgiveness
Forgiving someone doesn't mean that what they did to you was right. In fact it says the opposite. Why forgive someone who did nothing to begin with? Forgive them Silly and let God take care of the rest.
Silly,
I don't think it lets anyone in. What it does is create a ripple effect of bad feelings and guilt and all those types of things. They in turn affect your and then go on to other people. So forgiving even if you don't think you should allows for rthe light to shine--yours. When you have bad feelings you close of your wonderful light and that affects everything and everyone--weather you think others are affected or not. It's the ripple effect.
We are all subject to pain from errrors of others and ourselves; after nursing my wounds, I usually shake it off, give it God and get on with life, even try to like something about the other person - however, mainly I just don't let it settle on my heart, there is too much work to do; life is full; hate or anger just bogs down the one who feels it. When you want to see good in others, most of the time you can; yet, we can never forget that evil does exist and tries to find room in the hearts of mankind. so, that's the end of my sermon. =))
Very interesting theme, great work. To my opinion vorgivness is a question of character. personally i have a lot of problems with vorgiveness .I can' t even say i forget u because i' m sure that it isn't the truth , so i simply say ok.! don't speak about it anymore!
Sirdent,
See this hub is so much more positive than the recent one. Forgiveness is the answer, not violence or displacement of peoples.
LG, it isn't that it lets a person in. It allows evil spirits to come in. Bitterness, anger, etc. . .
Marisuewrites, that is a great comment and I appreciate it very much.
FSF, that is the whole point of forgetting it. Don't dwell on it nor even speak about it. Thanks for the read and comment.
Sweetie, some things are good and others are bad, but they are still there no matter what we feel or try and do about them. I appreciate your comments as always. ;)
Beautiful hub and very timely for me. I appreciate your work. Even we as Christians need to be reminded of this very thing.
Thanks blessed ( I don;t feel right calling you mommy :P). I appreciate the read and comment. I agree also that we need to be reminded from time to time.
WILL SAY THIS SOME ARE EASIER TO FORGIVE THAN OTHERS
Dear SirDent,
A thumbs up for this hub. But there is just one thing i still could not understand for years. What does it really mean by "... whatever we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. " ?. I really would like to know...thanks
I agree Silly that sometimes it is hard to forgive, but we must attempt to forgive even when it is hard to do.
childcen, my understanding is when we loose forgiveness on earth, forgiveness is loosed in heaven. The Bible says if we refuse to forgive our brother then god will refuse to forgive us.
that seems sort of harsh,, since he is suppose to forgive and love us no matter what i thought
it is His Word Silly. Answer me a question. Why shoud he treat you differently that you treat others?
well cause he is perfect and doesnt lie and he loves all,,,and we are human,,,but let me ask you something,,,, if someone slaps you once you forgive them they slap you again you going to keep forgiving them.
Yes Silly you keep forgiving them. God also wants us to use wisdom. Do not get in the place where they can keep slpping you so much.
Nice hub..Truly it's a great feeling to forgive and forget dispite the hurts and pains. That makes us human.
Yes it surely is Kits. Thanks for the read and comment. I appreciate it greatly.
Wonderful Hub!!!!!!!!!! I must say everytime I get upset I always have to think about how God forgave me and stooded by me, never letting me fall. So then I look at others differently and forgive!! Praise God!
SirDent, what a testimony to forgiveness. It has always been a hard one... forgiving others that hurt you, used you or said hurtful things about you. And the only way to forgive another is to constantly remind yourself that we need to forgive others if we want our Father in Heaven to forgive us. The video's that you use in your Hubs are excellent. Your choice truly matches the Hub you write each and every time. I am so glad I met you on Hubpages. Stay blessed, Laurie
Thanks you so much Carlotta for the comment. It isn't always easy to forgive only because we would rather hold onto our grudges. I think I would rather let my grudges go than to have God hold a grudge against me.
Thanks for the reads and comments you gave me today Laurie. To be read is a blessing in itself.
Every hub of yours is a revelation, SirDent. Many know about importance of forgiving, but when they forgive (or think they forgive), they don't forget. I can't agree more that forgiving means forgetting that it ever happened. But in order to forgive one should love. Also, if they slap you in one cheek, forgive and forget, but you don't have to turn another.
Thank you Ruevera for the read and encouraging comment. I believe we should turn the other cheek as Jesus spoke it in His Word.
I know Lord said: "Turn another cheek". But if you do, you may get hit. It happened to me. I prefer the fallowing interpretation: Turn another spiritual cheek (face). and result would be different, better one. Spirit face means Word of God in operation.
Thanks. I have struggled with forgiveness for a while. I thought I had forgiven someone but the thoughts of his actions, and the consequences of them, keep returning.
Excellent contrast between forgiveness and salvation. I don't hear that often.
Good Hub Sir Dent. Forgiveness shouldn't really even be a choice, but it is. I read somewhere that a couple thousand years ago, they considered 7 a good number, and also a considerate amount of times to need to offer forgiveness to someone. That's why the apostle Peter asked Jesus if he should forgive up to 7 times. Of course Jesus told him 77 times 7, which basically means everytime.
Steve, it is indeed a struggle that we must deal with daily. Once we conquer unforgiveness, we must keep it conquered.
Dave I appreciate your comment. In the Bible the number 7 almost, if not always, means complete. It means accomplished to the end in a manner of speaking. Also Jesus actual words were 70 times 7 times.
Forgiveness is a key. But one problem, the Bible God does not forgive, he kills. Which is why religion and religous people have killed for centuries. Not a good example to follow. Taking scriptures out of context does not change that.
TTT, you are still alive. Why did God not kill you?
Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do, is some of the most healing words in the Bible and ever spoken.
Very lovely hub. By the way. I love it. I wish more people are willing to forgive others.
This is a great blog! I once heard a great analogy of what its like when you hold grudges. Say you're going on a journey, and along the way you saw a rock, and you picked it up and put it in your backpack. You kept walking, and you saw another rock, and you picked that one up and put in your backpack. You keep walking, and keep storing rocks in your backpack, and before you know it, you find it harder to go on because you brought a major burden apon yourself by picking up every rock you saw, instead of just ignoring it. These rocks represent a time when someone has hurt you, and the more grudges we hold, the more angry we get, and the weaker we are to sin!
Great hub! I definitely know that unforgiveness gives place to the devil. God says not to even let the sun go down upon our wrath for this cause. We can't say we love God and hate our brother. We have to reconcile with our brother before we come to His altar. I've seen people I didn't forgive end up with some pretty severe consequences. I release them when I forgive them. If they have a problem with unforgiveness still, God will use the enemy to discipline those He loves. Likewise, with us when we don't forgive. It's a hard road to walk when we don't forgive.
Some believe that if we forgive, the sins of that person are forgiven also in heaven. That's not truth. That person still has an accountability to God for his/her sin. While we are to forgive upon their repentence, we also should forgive even if they don't repent. God will deal with them in His way.
Truly, RLarry, we don't need to be carrying those rocks around! Praise God, His yoke is light! AMEN.
Sometimes forgiving someone can be very hard, but I think if we have set our hearts to forgive someone, God will give us the grace to see through our commitment. God is clear, He will not forgive us if we don't forgive others.
It's beautiful music, isn't it. There are things that happen in life that seem to great to be able to forgive. If you will Pray to the Lord in Heaven, He will Bless you with Forgiveness for whomever has offended you. Forgiveness is more for the offended than it is for the offender. God has Blessed me with Forgiveness for people who would have taken my life because of my Strong Christian Faith. He is an Awesome God. I will never leave Him.
Reading through the comments I noticed some by "Silly", well we have to remember that forgiveness is not for the one that hurt or offended us, forgiveness is for US, so we don't carry the burden of being angry or resentful. If you have anger or resentment in your heart then it is hard to feel the joy you get from God, with anger and resentment residing in your hearts you will not benefit from all of Gods blessings he has in store for you. Our God IS a very loving God and only wants the best for us that is why we should harbor no ill feelings towards anyone because that is destructive behavior. I once heard a definition of forgiveness that is very good, Fore-Give: give before it is earned. Sounds like what God did with his Son, he gave him before he was earned.
Forgiveness is like a wound that needs to heal.There is the pus and blood at first, then it begins to dry up and develop a scab.Eventually, the scab becomes a scar.I have a big scar from poison wood.It took six months to heal because my parents used bush medicine at first.When I received medical attention and gentian violet was applied to it,the wound healed.Humans who forgive do forget;but there is always something there to remind them.As a result of that wound turned scar,I am more aware of the dangers of skin contact with poison wood,can recognize the plant and stay away from it.We humans have a sensitivity to hurt,have to treat it and wait for God to heal it.
Love the hub. I am one that still feels challenged to forgive. But it always comes with the first step. I decide to forgive.
Forgiveness sees those hard-to-get-along-with ones that don't forgive themselves as their own selves once. And sometimes it is best to just go the other way.
I still don't know how I feel about forgiveness. I know I am capable of forgiving, but I can't seem to get over this problem. I was repeatedly abused by a man as a child, some 30 years ago. I avoid him at all cost, and when I do see him I can't bear to look him in the eye. I understand what people have said about these feelings eating away at you, but I can't seem to control that. How can I say I have truly forgiven him when I still have these feelings?
First I need to ask if you have prayed the sinners prayer and accepted Jesus as your Savior.
Secondly, to forgive is something that humans need help with. it isn't an easy thing to do. It is sort of like learning to drive a car. You don't head out to the freeway right off the bat but you do have to get inside the car.
To decide that you want to forgive is like getting inside the car. Ask for help from your instructor, (Jesus), and let Him help you become familiar with the car.
The car is not nervous because you are learning to drive but you are nervous because you are learning.
Last thing I have to say is this. Unforgiveness only hurts those who do not forgive. The ones who abused you feel nothing from your unforgiveness.
I do hope you come back and maybe I can help a little more.
Great hub. I agree it's really important to state that forgiveness means letting go of grudges and not trying to make the offender earn forgiveness. We need to learn to practice grace. We have been forgiven more than we will ever understand on this Eartha and certainly way more than we would ever have to dream of forgiving.
Bless you and your walk with our Lord.
Grace and peace to you Brother.
Sir Dent, LOVED IT! Jesus says 'Whenever you pray, Forgive.' I have this written and put on my refrigerator so I NEVER forget it. Our new LINK function revealed your HUB to me under the word 'forgiveness.' So now my HUB on Forgiveness is linked to yours. HUBPAGES .. YOU ROCK!
Thanks!
Mekenzie
It is hard for humans to forgive as God does because He knows our hearts and knows if we are sincere. Whereas, with humans, trust must be rebuilt after someone has hurt us. We can continue to forgive someone over and over, but if that person continues to hurt us, the relationship will never be restored to what it was. That doesn't mean we hate them; it just means we don't put ourselves in a situation where they can hurt us again.
Great hub, Sir Dent. Well laid out and researched.
The most amazing story about forgiveness I have ever read was the instance of the Amish school shooting the other year in which the Amish community rallied around and forgave the wife of the shooter.
Grace and peace.
It is a terrible thing to be hurt or let down by someone but I have learned thAt to forgive is a choice that we make . Like anything we do, the first time is hard but I found that the more we choose to forgive the easier it becomes..when those negative thoughts come throw them out of your mind, replace them with something positive, we may not forget but we will become stronger and wisdom will come to us.. gods grace is for all of us and if we can we should follow Jesus' example when he hung on that cross and forgive ..it will set us free to live our lives again...it is a bad thing to be hurt by someone, but it is even worse to allow that hurt to rob you of your joy for the rest of your lives....
trying so hard to forgive my husband for leaving me after 25 yrs. want to forgive but can't forget, it's in my mind day after day, how to forgive, i'm trying so hard but he did so much damage, i try to remember he is a sinner just as i am but not making progress, God help me!
Hi there SirDent,
Just wanted to add a comment here.
Yes, God calls us to forgive, even the inexcusable, but some people manipulate forgiveness and apply it to trust as meaning the same. There is a difference, as forgiveness is given, but trust is earned. Some people use this as a licence to manipulate others in enabling their behaviors. That is not what forgiveness is.
But Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to them, for He knew all men, and because He did not need anyone to testify concerning man, for He Himself knew what was in man.
John 2:24-25
This verse clarifies something for me. If someone keeps on sinning against you and keeps causing offence, then that person(s) is/are not to be trusted and we are to avoid them. We must forgive, but we don't need to feel coerced or obligated to trust them in the name of forgiveness.
Also, forgiveness is an acknowledgement of wrongdoing and then letting it go by laying it at the cross. Forgiveness sometimes may be more for our benefit than the offender, because we might never see that person again.
Forgiveness releases us from the bondage of bitterness and allows us to move on in our lives in a positive direction. I know so many people who are unfortunately trapped in their bondage of bitterness where they are still living out their ordeal and cannot move on in their lives. The power of Jesus, the power of forgiveness, in faith, can release them into a much more fruitful life allowing God's grace to wash the memories away and healing their wounds. Bitterness only adds salt and allows the wound to continue to fester.
This might come a little bit controversial to some on this subject, but I believe that God does not absolutely wipe away the memory of our sins, but chooses not to remember them. All of our sins are recorded, but the blood of Christ has stamped forgiven over each one of them; therefore, God does not dwell on them at all. Not remembering means choosing not to recall something to mind, which is different from forgetting absolutely.
“FOR I WILL BE MERCIFUL TO THEIR INIQUITIES,AND I WILL REMEMBER THEIR SINS NO MORE.”
Hebrews 8:12
All through the Bible are painful examples and consequences of man's sin towards God. Forgiveness is not about forgetting, but with the help of Jesus, we can overcome the repeated dwelling (bitterness) of the brutal memory(ies)and allow Him to heal us.
It is only by the grace of God, that we can face offences head on and forgive like Jesus did. Forgiveness is a miracle (grace)in itself, an example of what Jesus did for us, and by what He has done in us, we can reciprocate the same love for our enemies.
Someone once told me, "if you can pray for that person who offended you, then you know you have forgiven them."
A timeless piece. I am currently teaching on bitterness, this was particularly thought provoking. God bless you and the message!
I am 28 years old and have been married for 7 years now. We have 2 children 6 and 7 years old. Me and my wife had a strange beginning. To make a long story short, she dated a friend of mine through highschool. He cheated on her, lied to her and abused her mentally and physically. She started to come to me to get a break in the abuse and we ended up getting together. A few years went by and me and my friend patched things up and he understood that it was better for him and her to split ways and accepted that we were together. He even attended our wedding. We became really close friends even after the fact that I married his ex-highschool girlfriend. Well in 2008 me and my wife come across tough times. She demanded a split and I gave it to her. I came to find out that she was again seeing my friend and they were dating and sleeping together. This tore me apart. I couldn't believe that he would do this to me. I mean I know I took her from him in the beginning but it was his girlfirend that he treated like a dog. It was my wife, the mother of my children that he was trying to take from me. Well after 3 months my wife and I decided to rekindle the marriage and get back together. I feel like I have been able to forgive her in some aspects, but I have never found a way to forgive him. I feel like if I forgive him then he wins. I know it shouldn't be about winning or losing but I don't even know how to forgive him. Not to mention, my mother was addicted to crack for quite a few years. Everytime I would "Bury the hatchet" and forgive her, she would disapear again and hurt me again. I think that I have learned that forgivness only invites more pain and I don't know how to break the cycle. Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I am feeling the weight of the bitterness bring me down.
Chris, if you come back to check this article again, I suggest you go and read this article. (http://sirdent.hubpages.com/hub/The-Essence-of-Lov It is about Hosea and Gomer. Forgiveness starts with speaking it out.
SirDent, Sorry the link indicates it does not exist.
I found the article. It was a good article about unconditional love. Not to be rude but that did not do anything for me as to how I should adress this forgivness issue that is upon me. I understand that Hosea's love was so pure and great that bringing his wife back home was an easy choice for him, however, why should it be on Hosea's shoulders to continue to endure the pain? I mean at some point doesn't the pain deminish the love? I am truly inspired with stories like these but never know how to apply it to my life and situation. I want to be able to forgive my wife, friend and mother for all their wrong doings as God forgives me for mine but I do not know where to start :(
Hosea forgave Gomer for going back to being a whore as she was before. One thing I have learned is that to forgive one must speak forgiveness. I would suggest you speak forgiveness aloud and ask God to help you through the process.
It is not necessary to speak to them face to face or even at all. Just speak forgiveness. It is similar to going downtown. You must first get in the car. Then you start the car, but you are not at your destination yet.
If this does not help you, I will refer you to someone else who could help more than I can. He is a brother in the Lord and much wiser than I am.
I really like reading your blog! (and I also love the Introduction of this article) Try checking out my blog sometime -- that you have recently commented. http://vincemad.blogspot.com/2011/09/devils-compla
"Forgiveness matters anyway." ^^
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you, SirDent!
Looking forward to your reply. ^^
Are there scriptures to back up what was said about you can forgive the person who has hurt you even if you aren't with them? In other words...they have hurt you for most of your life(which is almost 50 years), and then did it again...talking bad about you behind your back, and has to your face. All my life my Mom has done it, and unless she has changed in how she has always treated me, then going to her and telling her I forgive you would be pointless because I've always done that and she's always acted like she did nothing..but I'd always feel like a fool and go back and be put down, and hear from other family members she's talking about me, and accusing me of things I have no clue about. So if I really forgive her in my heart and pray for her, God will still forgive when I may need forgiveness? I love my Mom, but I can't imagine continuing the way I've always done, but if I've gotta go to her and be around her to really forgive her, then I will suck it up once again.
Hi K. I am glad you made it here. Here is what Jesus spoke about forgiving and being forgiven. ***Mat 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
Mat 6:15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. ***
From what you wrote in your comment, I see that you have forgiven your mother. Whether she accepts forgivenes or not, you did your part and there is not anything else you need to do nor can do except pray for her.
As far as forgiving people who have died, you should forgive them. I wrote a hub on forgetting what's behind. It might do you well to read it. http://sirdent.hubpages.com/hub/Forgetting-Whats-B
If you have any more questions or my answers are not detailed enough, just let me know.
I really liked this. But I do not know how to practice it. I am so rigid that I am not willing to forgive someone. I just feel that if I forgive I loose because the other person does all the mistake and I suffer every time.
You must start before you can actually forgive. When you forgive, you win.
allshookup 3 years ago
Love this hub. It reminds me of a song a couple sing at our church, 'How deep is the sea?' I love this song. Anyone who is saved cannot help but love it. We don't deserve it, but He gives it freely.
O how sweet the words, child you're forgiven, he spoke to my soul that night I knelt in prayer...it's hard to believe he would take my tattered garment and give me a robe of solid white to wear.
How deep is the sea? Where my sins have all been buried, I don't want to be reminded of the one I was before...what God has forgiven, He has also forgotten, and they'll never be remembered against me anymore.
My mind can hardly fathom this worlds' vast dimensions, time and space have always marveled me...so I could not start to guess how far the east is from the west, but that's how far my sins, have been removed from me!
Even reading the words of this song brings tears to my eyes.
My computer wont let me see the videos you put in this hub. But I do know some of the Crabb family songs since I'm kin to them. They are awesome.
It took me a lot longer to learn to forgive than I wished it had. I had to learn that I should want to forgive, not necessarily waiting for someone to ask me for forgiveness. It's the opposite of how I was brought up, so it went against everything I had learned. But, once I let the Spirit lead me and teach me, it was one of the most freeing things I could have learned. It's not only good for the peson you forgive, but it's great for you too. There's nothing left to hold on to and horbor bad feelings over. Thanks for the great hub!
Is it not awesome to know that HE gives us a robe of solid white to wear even though we are so far from deserving it????????? \O/ Praise God!